Your Awakening Doesn’t Come with Directions

Thriving Through Uncertainty in Both Spiritual Growth and Legal Crisis
Series: Surviving Spiritual Awakening & the Criminal Justice System.

The seizureship of my societal identity and businesses in early 2020 came about while I was in my late 40’s and when the world was manipulated into it’s own seizureship through a pandemic shutdown. The collision of these events generally forced a moment of awakening in me. All the assumed and ingrained constructs I was sleep walking through were exposed.

I would eventually experience what is called the dark night of the soul. My core survival programming really only allowed for me sit in the darkness to understand the reality and create a new construct for me – through all of it.

“Spiritual awakening is not a curriculum—it’s an unraveling.”
— Shi Heng Yi

“There’s no handbook for surviving federal indictment—but there are values that guide you when everything else falls apart.”
— Michael Santos, Prison Professors

No Map. No Manual. No Mentor That Can Walk It For You.
One of the most destabilizing parts of spiritual awakening—and federal prosecution—is realizing this:
No one can tell you exactly how to survive it.
Sure, there are guidelines. Coaches. Compliance strategies. Pre-sentencing checklists.
But when the lights go out—spiritually, emotionally, or reputationally—you’re left with only one thing:

Your ability to keep moving forward without knowing what’s ahead – with little of what you had relied on as truth.

And most people have never experienced or practiced that – so the path is alone.

The faster one can accept that our justice system is not what was programed into us in the 70’s-80’s television and movies, it actually only a legal system and like any system it is designed to consume and grow; the faster one can make room for the reality of the game we play every time we wake up in the morning in the cross hairs of the Federal Government, the better.

Success – in the legal system is about loss-mitigation; but in inside of you it’s about removing frameworks and baggage of prior programming.

Why Awakening Isn’t Linear (And Neither Is Justice)
Shi Heng Yi explains that spiritual awakening doesn’t happen in chapters. It’s not a six-step plan. It doesn’t reward logic, and it laughs at control.

In the criminal legal system, the same disorientation applies:

You don’t know when charges will drop
You don’t know which friends will stay
You don’t know how the judge will rule
You don’t know what your life will look like post-sentencing
And that’s not failure.
That’s the training ground for your real transformation.

But, all our lives are build on shifting sands really. I really takes so little to upend our plans and the systemized daily activities we call a life.

The Danger of Outsourcing Your Inner Authority
When the pressure hits, we instinctively look for experts out the discomfort of confusion. Your lawyer becomes your lifeline
Your spiritual coach becomes your crutch. You scroll podcasts hoping someone else has your answer.

But here’s the truth:

You cannot outsource your awakening.
And you cannot delegate your personal responsibility—no matter how good your legal team is.

At some point, you’ll be asked to:
Accept a narrative in court
Explain your remorse
Reclaim your integrity
Forgive yourself for the version of you that didn’t know better
No one else can do that for you.

Intuition Over Intellect
The legal world trains you to lead with logic.
But the awakening journey demands you listen to what doesn’t yet make sense.
This is especially true when:
You’re deciding what to say at sentencing
You’re choosing how to show up in the media
You’re crafting your post-indictment identity
Logic says: “Minimize risk.”
Intuition says: “Tell the truth—even if your voice shakes.”
And the soul always rewards the latter.

Navigating the Dark Without External Validation
During this phase, you’ll crave reassurance:
“You’re doing the right thing.”
“You’re still a good person.”
“You’ll get through this.”
But you won’t always hear it.
People are too busy managing their own fears.
Your old cheerleaders may have gone silent.
And the system isn’t known for empathy, fairness or balance.
This is when you become your own guide.
“The most powerful thing you can say to yourself in the dark is: I trust me, even here.”

Legal and Spiritual Application Side-by-Side


Final Thought
When there’s no map, no applause, and no guarantees—your next step isn’t about certainty.
It’s about courage.

Brian Davison